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Mom Packs Up Kids, Heads Home to New Orleans

Romaine McCarthy with son, Ian / Newsline photo by April Chan
Romaine McCarthy said her son, Ian, had a hard time being apart from his dad. (Newsline photo by April Chan)
By April Chan
Maryland Newsline
Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2005; photo added Nov. 10, 2005

Second of two stories on the McCarthys

COLLEGE PARK, Md. - Romaine McCarthy, a 41-year-old New Orleans mother of four who, two months ago, arrived in Maryland with her children, her family van and not much else in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, freely admits that what she did last Friday was impulsive.

Though she had originally planned to make a safe home for her children at her sister-in-law’s house in Kensington, Md., one outburst from her 8-year-old son that morning prompted her to get her kids back in the family van and drive back to a New Orleans that is still struggling to rebuild.

“When my son cried Friday morning for his dad, I just couldn’t take it anymore,” she said, of Ian McCarthy, 8, who did not want to get on the bus to go to school. “He said, ‘I want to go home.  … I don’t want to do this anymore.’ … It took me aback, because he’s never really verbalized that before.”

'I Couldn't Take My Kids Not Seeing Their Dad'

Ian last saw his father, Mark McCarthy, 41, in early September as the family parted ways after a short stint in Florida, originally meant as an escape from Katrina as it barreled into New Orleans.

Mark, a New Orleans sleep disorder physician, opted to stay in the Gulf Coast after the storm, so he could keep his practice alive. He sent his family to live with his sister in Maryland – out of harm’s way, he said.

But because of Ian’s eruption, his mom said she decided: “I couldn’t take my kids not seeing their dad. … It was just too much. … I just kind of made the decision -- we were driving back to New Orleans.”

The separation from Mark had taken its toll. “Being apart was less appealing than being comfortable,” Romaine said.

Romaine and the children left the comfort of Kensington at about 5 p.m. Friday evening. They arrived in New Orleans Saturday night. Mark was still living at his parents’ home in Carriere, Miss. Romaine and the children drove to her brother’s home in Jefferson Parish, which she said has been quicker at rebuilding than other areas of the city.

By Tuesday, Romaine said she had secured an apartment with a six-month lease in Orleans Parish, which is within walking distance of St. George’s Episcopal School in the Uptown area of that parish—where her children are resuming classes and she is returning to work.

The family, including Mark McCarthy, will be moving into a two-bedroom/one-bathroom apartment this week, paying $1,500 a month for rent.

See previous story: New Orleans Family Makes Temporary Home in Md., Struggles with School, Work Adjustments

'It Felt Good to Know They Were Missed'

Romaine’s abrupt departure late Friday surprised many in Maryland who have come to know the McCarthy family, including her sister-in-law, Arlene McCarthy.

“I was disappointed,” Arlene said. “Personally, I think that because so much is in upheaval in New Orleans, staying until January might have given the children more stability. … Give the city more time to improve the infrastructure.”

Romaine’s decision was an emotional one, she said, spurred on because she missed her husband and was worried about her financial future. “I think a more rational decision would have been to wait,” she said.

But school officials at St. George’s had urged her not to wait -- to return to her old job as a resource counselor, Romaine said.

“I couldn’t get St. George’s off my mind,” she said. “It just seemed like, normal. And it felt good because for two months, I’ve been living like, not normal.”

Danielle McCarthy, 13, Amanda McCarthy, 12, Rachel McCarthy, 10, and Ian began classes at St. George’s on Monday. “It made me cry because … they couldn’t take two steps without someone grabbing them and hugging them and welcoming them back. I think it felt good to know they were missed,” Romaine said.

And the reunion with their father was wonderful, she said. “My husband made a special point to welcome [Ian] back,” to assure him that things were going to be “as close to normal as possible.”

Romaine said that both her husband and mother-in-law initially objected to her bringing the children back to New Orleans.

Their home in the Gentilly neighborhood had been flooded by 6 feet of water, and part of the ceiling had caved in from wind damage, she said. On top of that, “My neighbors aren’t back. …Everything has a grey hue to it. It’s ugly and dead.”

Romaine said she and Mark will not allow their children to visit their former home. The parts of Orleans Parish, however, where the children will be living and going to school are slowly coming back to life, she said.

So far, her children have been “kind of oblivious” to the hurricane’s fury, she said. They noticed a street sign had been twisted around and asked who might bother to do that, she said. “I was like, Katrina did.”

Though her children were excited to go home, Romaine said she regrets not giving them time, aside from Friday afternoon, to say goodbye to their new friends in Maryland.

“I did kind of leave people hanging a bit,” she said.

 

Banner graphic by April Chan, incorporating photo from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration; Newsline Web content edited by Chris Harvey; Capital News Service stories edited by Adrianne Flynn and Tony Barbieri.  

Copyright © 2005 University of Maryland Philip Merrill College of Journalism


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