By Leticia Linn
Capital News Service
Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2006

GREENBELT, Md. - The aromas coming out of Beverly Holton's kitchen Monday night promised a delicious spaghetti sauce -- vegetarian, of course -- while anecdotes about babies and children going to college mixed with political talk.

Over dinner and wine, 15 women of all ages and races analyzed government performance, the next general election, and the issues they cared about -- health care, education, family and job security. Dinner conversation became a mixture of deep thoughts, personal stories, emotions and tons of laughs.

They were "Stirring the Pot," the name of this conversation event that is the brainchild of the AFL-CIO and Working America. An expected 360 dinners were to be held nationwide Tuesday, with the goal of encouraging women to vote in the next general election and to take an active role in promoting the issues they care about.

Their ideas will be tallied to determine what matters to women most. Participants were encouraged to send postcards to their friends asking them to vote in the next election. And if the "Stirring the Pot" gatherings prove to be successful more may be held in the future.

Holton, who works at AFL-CIO, was the hostess of one of the three dinners to be held around Maryland, but she decided to invite her friends Monday evening, a holiday for many of them.

"It is a good opportunity to discuss issues that women are worried about," Holton said, while she arranged food and drinks on a table in her Greenbelt apartment.

"We never have enough time to have these meetings and discuss these issues," added one of her friends, Melissa Blakeman, who was holding Spencer, her 5-week-old son, the only 'man' admitted. "You end up thinking that you can't do anything" about the things that bother you.

By 6 p.m., Holton's cozy, picture-filled living room was the scene of a vivid chat among a dozen women, dipping into a big bowl of Pink Kisses -- for the fight against breast cancer -- including White House correspondent Helen Thomas.

The group was varied in a variety of ways, and all well informed: cousins, co-workers, friends from high school, married, singles, a Christian woman married to a Muslim man, a white stepmother of a black woman, a single mother, a black woman married to a Chinese man, mothers, daughters, professionals, workers and housewives.

The first of many topics was the war in Iraq, along with heavy criticism of the Bush administration.

"We should be out of there yesterday," Thomas said, and recalled a question she asked President Bush about the reason to go to Iraq. "He said 'because of 9-11.' 'I'm talking about Iraq,' I said."

Both Republicans and Democrats were judged hard by the group, the former for how they are conducting the government and the latter for failing to be an active opposition.

Holton complained about the voting machine problems during Maryland's primary election and said she hopes Republican Gov. Robert Ehrlich is defeated.

The alternative, Democratic Baltimore Mayor Martin O'Malley, is not an option because of his city's crime problems, said Kendra Seto.

Fear -- of crime, terrorism, other things -- was mentioned as a characteristic of daily life.

"People are afraid to march, people are afraid to protest," said Rabia Raysord.

Seto said she was worried about job security, and asked what could happen to those women who may be facing retirement while their children are going to college.

"There is no such a thing as job security," Roxanna Bilar replied.

Health care emerged as a main issue. Cecily Patterson explained what she went through when she was taking care of her mother who had Alzheimer's Disease.

"I really don't know how people manage to pay for medication and medical assistance," she said.

Holton also recalled how she dealt with her mother's illness while she was raising her daughter as a single mother. She said she could send her daughter to college because her father and her stepmother, who attended the dinner, paid for it.

Holton's personal story, teased out by Thomas' questions, brought tears to a few of the women.

"You should write a book," suggested Thomas.

Raysord talked about the importance of creating family bonds to face troubled times, and all agreed.

"We always think that government should solve all our problems," Raysord said, and told how she dealt with a group of drug dealers who were hanging around her neighborhood when her children were little.

"The powers that be has made us believe that we are more different than we really are," said Bilar, who talked about how much she learned every day from living with her Libyan Muslim husband. She said that the real enemy "is fear" and called for a higher level of understanding.

"We are talking about the same things here and look how diverse this group is," said Raysord.

Deserts came around 10 p.m., and everyone seemed reluctant to leave.

Blakeman summarized the group's feeling: "When are we doing this again?"

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